On the day you were born, you opened your innocent eyes and were greeted by a world that knew you were different. You are special, little one, the nurses told you. You weren’t supposed to make it. There wasn’t a heartbeat but now you are here. There was a hole in your spine but now you are here and you are whole and you are perfect. They told you that you were a miracle, and you believed them because you didn’t know about being ordinary yet.
As you grew older, the world knew you were blessed with extraordinary talents. She’s a healer, they said. So quiet, so observant, so wise for her age. They told you that you could do anything that you wanted to, and you believed them because your heart didn’t know about lies yet.
When you started school your teachers knew you were gifted. Accelerated programs, special opportunities, more attention. They told you that you could be anything that you wanted to be, and you believed them because your mind didn’t know about self doubt yet.
The first time someone called you ordinary, your spirit started to crumble. He would look you in the eyes and tell you that you weren’t enough, and as he walked away you would believe him. The first time you were betrayed, he would look at you with laughter in his eyes and you would think it was because he knew he had won. The first time you got fired, you would think it was because you weren’t good enough and because you had failed.
The world had taught you about fantasy, about dreams and about ambitions, but it never mentioned how hard that life would work to challenge you. To break you. To show you how small you really were.
But when that boyfriend called you ordinary, know that it was because he recognized his own inability to tame your wild spirit. When that lover looked at you and laughed, that laughter was not because he had won but because he had no other way to express his fear of your strength, your independence and your hunger for the world. And when you felt the harsh edges of your limitations and were coldly turned away by the life you thought you wanted, the universe was not making a mockery of your flaws but rather teaching you that there are alternate paths to happiness.
And then one day you will wake up in a hospital bed surrounded by flowers and it will be like the day you were born. You don’t know what it feels like to be ordinary, because you know that you are nothing less than extraordinary. You don’t know what lies feel like because your heart knows it was made to tell the truth, beating out one sentence, one gentle realization, one kind word at a time. And you don’t know what limitations are, because you know that whatever you want you will chase with hunger in your eyes and a fire in your soul until it’s yours.
All of the illusions that the world worked so hard to veil you with cannot touch you, because deep in your being you feel your own magic working, conspiring towards something greater than you. You will gather all of the hurt that the world gave to you in your small, calloused hands and you will rise with gratitude to the occasion and you will turn it into a gift.
Your struggle is not your story, it is your opportunity. Use it wisely.
Moana Soul 